Discrimination: Update

Note: I didn't mention in the original post, Discrimination, that the incident happened at church. I didn't want to anger or embarrass anyone with my musings. I mention it now because I'm proud of the people there and the turn around that I've already seen with just a little education.

Eon went back to class, today, and was warmly welcomed. It was a different teaching team and they were not "warned" ahead of time that he would be there, but they took it completely in stride and were glad to have him.

Before we left for church, I told him that he needed to sit still for story time in his class. "Uh-uh," shaking his head no. "Yes, you will. You have to sit down and listen during story time." "Uh-uh," again. "Eon, if you don't sit still for story time, you will not go to your class." Big, big sigh, and then, a resigned, "Gah." (Yeah.)

He sat still for story time.... Of course, he took his shoes off about four times during the class. (Baby steps...:)

It happened to be a "Celebration of Giving" Sunday in which all of the little kids parade in front of the congregation to drop their coins into a bucket.

It thrilled me to see him be a part of it, marching to the front with his peers and dropping the money in (with prompting:). At the same time, it saddened me a bit to think there might be others watching and thinking he shouldn't be there, but he'll prove them wrong.

After chuch, one of the teachers, an older gentleman, that had issues with Eon's presence last week approached me and asked me how to relate to him. I explained that Eon is just like any other three-year-old boy who is new to the class and doesn't know the routine. He just needs some closer supervision and guidance, but he'll get there. He seemed very concerned that he didn't know how to communicate with Eon. I explained that, even though he doesn't have very many words, he understands everything we say to him. He seemed surprised by that. He finally asked me what health concerns he has and what he should watch out for. He was visibly surprised when I replied, "None. He's perfectly healthy."

Then it was his turn to surprise me, "Sounds like I just need to spend more time with him and get to know him."

Exactly. I could have kissed him!


A class coordinator apologized to me over the whole fiasco from last week. In talking with her about it, I mentioned that I had been tempted to just go to another church that already has a special needs ministry. She responded, "Oh, don't leave! That would just make it easier for us, and easy is not what we need. We need to learn!"

Wise words. She's right. They do need to learn.

But so do I.

This experience has taught me the value of standing up for my son with humility, that most people have good hearts, that change can occur rather quickly when people want to learn, that sticking out the hard times in community is worth it, and that I should have taught Eon to put shoes on before I taught him to take them off. :)

This kid continues to teach us all.

Discrimination

Discrimination. The dictionary defines it as:  making a distinction in favor of or against, a person based on the group, class, or category to which that person belongs rather than on individual merit.

One problem with those who discriminate is that they usually have no idea that they are doing it.

My child was discriminated against this week, although I doubt the parties involved would recognize it as such. People in authority made a distinction against him because he has a disability. Rather than saying what they thought to be true, that he is unteachable and can't learn the routine or the rules, they couched it in acceptable terms and turned it back onto themselves..."We are not equipped to handle special needs." But I see it for exactly what it is.

It's not about their abilities...it's about his. Or rather, their assumption of his lack of abilities.

They were scared. I see that now.

They're from a different era, when those with differences like Eon's were pitied or safely hidden from view.

They are also people who value control and structure. Eon was a threat to that. They thought he'd be unpredictable...that he might say or do something beyond their control. Rather than engage him and treat him like the three-year-old boy that he is, they cowered and became defensive.

We are not equipped to handle special needs.

Thankfully, there was someone else in charge. This person has taken the time to know Eon. She believes in him. She stood up for him, uncovered the fear, and challenged their response.  

She also successfully talked this mama-bear down. I'll be honest. I wanted to turn tail and run, never to return. She showed me that I need to stay and educate. I will do what I can.

Ultimately, it's Eon that's going to change hearts and expand minds.

PTL for friends who help!

My friend, Christie, herself an adoptive momma, graciously offered to hold an online Scentsy fundraiser for our adoption! This is a win-win! If you order a Scentsy product, a percentage of your purchase goes directly to our adoption fund. So, you get a great product and an orphan gets closer to coming home.
So, click on the link and shop, shop, shop! :)

Or, if you prefer to skip the shopping and just give directly, that's always welcome, too. :) Just click on the Chip In on the right side of the blog.

Please don't forget to pray...for us, our child, and the funds. Thank you SO much!

Oh child of mine in a land beyond the sea...

I don't know what makes you smile,
or if you've ever had a reason to.


I know you probably don't cry.


Are your eyes blue like the ocean,
with spots and flecks like Eon's?


Or the color of mud and mine?


Do you run and play outside,
or do they keep you in a dark room?


Have they ever let you try?


I spend my days wondering what you are like
and what you'll think of me.


Have I lost my mind?


Will you watch me with wonder
or drop your gaze in fear?


You don't know what mama means.


Will you let me hold you
or will you want to know me slowly?


I'll try to be patient.


When our eyes finally meet,
Will my heart melt with instant devotion?


or will love need time to kindle?


So many unknowns, so many worries, so many fears.


But this I know: God sees. God knows. God cares. 


And this: You are wanted. You are loved. I am coming.


Hold on, little one. Hold on.