Thursday, May 20, 2010

The well-meaning comment

At only 15 mos., Eon has yet to face ridicule or discrimination because of Down syndrome. I don't doubt those moments will come, but I try not to dwell on them. I do know other moms have had to put up with negativity and insensitive comments related to their little one's diagnosis, but we have escaped relatively unscathed.

Shawn thinks it's because people are afraid of me. That might be the case. I have a tendency to speak my mind. I get it from my mom, although she is 6' tall and slightly more intimidating.

What does often catch me off guard is when some well-meaning person decides to "encourage" me by saying some inane thing about Down syndrome or children with special needs. Recently, a gentleman who had been watching Eon really get into the worship service at church, approached me to tell me that even though Eon is not the "original design", he is still God's creation or something equally ridiculous.

Honestly, it kind of ticked me off. It was like he had just had the revelation that my son is worthy of life and felt the need to tell me. And, he said it like I should be delighted with this new tidbit of information. Really?!? Do people think I sit around depressed because I have this beautiful toddler who has an extra chromosome? How many times do I have to testify publicly that Down syndrome has blessed our lives, that Eon is exactly who God made him to be, that we couldn't be more in love with or prouder of our son?

Of all the experiences like this (and they always happen from church people...why is that?), my favorite was the lady who told us soon after he was born, "God told me to tell you that he does have an extra extra chromosome of love!" Still cracks us up and we say that all the time around here just for a giggle. :)

Goodness. If I get this worked up over well-meaning comments, how will I react when someone really is a jerk? Let's just chalk it up to pregnancy hormones, shall we? :)


  1. I got all of those comments at church too. There was one lady who always commented about Morgan in her soft, sweet voice. Drove me crazy. I knew she meant well but it does get old really quickly. Love that our kids were born with an extra chromosome of LOVE!

  2. Cracking up at the extra chromosome of love comment. Never heard that one before! I do think some people think all us parents sit around depressed and that we are lying when we say our children are a true blessing. I think sometimes you have to have the experience to totally get it!

  3. I am sick to the back teeth of those comments. Last week, someone I really like asked if Luke will ever learn to talk. "Well, he actually talks already" was the answer. Some people just open their mouths and their brains are still in neutral! It's not their fault ;)

  4. It's always the well-meaning old ladies at church or at the grocery store that think they are being nice, when really--not so much!

    Congrats on the pregnancy! When are you due??