Sunday, March 24, 2013

No Words

Incredible, amazing, awesome, marvelous, wonderful....all words diluted by overuse in our overly advertised society. Words that used to convey wonder at extreme grandeur, but now are reduced to bold lettering on shampoo bottles and weight loss pills.

Because of that dilution, they are inadequate to describe all that is in my heart about adoption. 

We have been home with Bogdan for five weeks. Honestly, for those first weeks, I felt numb. I'm not sure how much my illness/hospitalization contributed, but I felt a little like I was recovering from post-traumatic stress disorder. Being ill in country too, didn't leave me with warm, fuzzy feelings toward our trip. I came away feeling raw.

But now we're home. I am back at work. Shawn has resumed school with the kids. Everyone is settling in and we're starting to see glimpses of our new normal. And, with eight children, four under the age of six and three in diapers, there is little time to reflect.

When I do catch a minute, I am overwhelmed by the magnitude of all that has transpired.

I look at this new little person that has joined our family and I am filled with wonder and awe. He is real and here and ours! A few months ago he was an orphan, a ward of the state. Even the clothes he wore were not his own.

First Cracker Barrel dinner with the family
Now, he's a son and a brother. 
Helping Tali with school work

I am filled with gratitude when I listen to him giggle as his sisters tickle him. I love to watch him carefully line up his hot wheel cars. It warms my heart to see him sleeping so peacefully.
Napping on Mom & Dad's bed
He belongs.

And that fact causes me to be overcome with emotion. How is it possible that he didn't belong before now? How is it possible that there are so many children like him waiting? How are they not being scooped up for the treasures that they are?

I know I am preaching to the choir on this blog, but how can so many refuse to see the need? More than that, how can they refuse to believe that the solution, while costly, can also be delightful?
My favorite expression!

I wish I had the words to express just how much I love this boy and how grateful I am that God asked us to make him ours. He is worth the stress, the frustration, the anxiety...the cost to bring him home. I see now how temporal all of that is in light of the eternal soul we are privileged to call our own.
Being tickled by Mama

He is worth it!

And so are the others still waiting.