Thursday, December 31, 2009

Monologue to God

I want to take a minute to publicly thank God for 2009. I hope you don't mind (and, if you're not of the same mindset...I hope it won't send you running to the hills. :)

I praise you, Lord, for increasing my faith.....for showing me that even when all is stripped away, You are here.......and you are enough.

I thank you for my sweet Simeon. Thank you for allowing instant/intense love for a little boy who continues to change our hearts and lives in so many ways. Thank you for introducing us to the amazing and wonderful club of Down syndrome and for giving us a blogging family of parents on the same road.

When Shawn decided to quit his job and become self-employed, we never dreamed we would be walking the Ds road at the same time. It could've been such a disaster, but You made him successful......always supplying job after job and using his flexible schedule for the benefit of our family. You knew that with heart surgery, extra appointments, and therapies, there was no way we would've survived (let alone thrived) with his former schedule and You put this on his heart for this reason. Your timing, as always, was perfect.

Although I'm not through it and have no complete resolution, I'm grateful that You love me enough to challenge my theology. You have given me the desire to question everything I thought I knew, knowing that I would eventually land at truth.....that You are real and that You care......and that all the extraneous, meaningless crap would be filtered out.

Thank you, God, for my family, for allowing me to be a sahm for the first time, and for teaching me to enjoy the chaos.

I know I complain about this often, but I really do thank you for making me the kind of person who wears her heart on her sleeve with a complete inability to live, or even vacation, behind any kind of mask.

You are good. While the circumstances were hard, I know that I'll remember this as one of the best years, yet.

6 comments:

  1. Thank you for sharing your love for God. Blessings and a happy new year to you and yours.

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  2. Beautiful, beautiful, beautiful!! God is soooo good! He knew exactly what He was doing when He gave Eon to you. He knew you would be an advocate for His precious children. God bless you and your family and I pray that 2010 brings you many more blessings!

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  3. Tara,

    What a beautiful, beautiful blessing Eon has been to your life. As many before me have said over the years, God never gives you more than you can handle. I know personally, this past year--at points--felt like I was getting too many challenges, but He knew exactly what he was doing for me--making me a better, stronger person, husband, and father. I look forward to continuing to read updates not only about Eon, but the rest of your family as you guys continue to grow.

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  4. What a wonderful conversation. And thank you for letting me be the fly on the wall to listen. God bless you Tara.

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  5. That was truly beautiful i feel the same about my Rozie. I tell people all the time i use to think having a baby with DS was the worst thing that could happen to me, now i know it is the BEST!!!

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  6. Thank you so much for sharing it. Thanks for your honesty, for all the questions I'm sure you have asked Him. I don't have a baby with DS, my 3 boys are all men now, but I did have some very hard time with my oldest son this year. I also know, that if it hasn´t been for the Lord holding my hands I would have given up believing.
    I bet you people are a wonderful family. Not perfect, but wonderful!

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