Tuesday, August 31, 2010

So now I wonder...

When we found out we were pregnant this time around, there was no question that we would skip the prenatal screenings. We knew that anything screened for would be visible on our level 2 ultrasound, except Down syndrome. There were no markers for Down syndrome on the ultrasound and everything measured exactly as it should. Plenty of babies with Down syndrome are born without any markers on the level 2 ultrasound, so that does not mean that she is not sporting an extra chromosome, but odds are good that she has the usual number.

I had to wrap my brain around the possibility of a typical baby this time around. I admit that Eon, with his phenomenal sleeping schedule and laid back personality, completely spoiled us. I remember well the infancies of my typical kids with their unexplained crying jags and demanding personalities. Seems like a lot of work to me.

As a family, we enjoy Eon so much and delight in everything that he is. I worry now that we will not have the same bond with his little sister, that we will miss all she has to offer because of our complete devotion to her brother. My head knows that it is unfounded, but my heart is not so easily convinced.

So I wonder, will she have Down syndrome, too? Will she be healthy? Will we instantly bond? Will we accept her and delight in who she is? Time will tell, but these are the things I pray about.


  1. You will fall so in love with her too. Being that Jack is our first and only so far, I often worry about this very thing. I am sure we will learn a whole new meaning of love, just as we have with our little ones with something extra. Congrats!

  2. I could have written this post, too. In fact I did pretty much write the first paragraph in something of mine recently. I also worry that I will always want to hold my bear cub over my new daughter because she is so comfortable and wonderful to hold because she just collapses into my arms and conforms to me, which my older daughter never did.

  3. Tara, I felt like your post was my thoughts EXACTLY until 4 weeks ago. Kaitlyn has just turned one and is the "keeper of my heart". I got pregnant with her baby brother when she was only 3 months old. The whole pregnancy I felt disconnected with the new baby, it scared me. I was unsure how I could share my heart when it was completely given to my beautiful girl with that extra chromosome. 4 weeks ago Ty was born, and I'll admit, I am sooo in LOVE. Your heart grows, you bond more and more with each middle of the night feeding, and next thing you know your bonding fears are gone and you can't imagine life without that new member of your family. It will be fine! Congratulations!

  4. Tara, I too wonder if I possibly could have another DS baby this time around and I'm totally fine if we do. In fact, it's an easier pregnancy because all the fear is gone about having a special needs child. I have researched if any woman has ever actually given birth to 2 DS children and I can't find any. Have you? I tell my kids, well if we do then maybe I'll get on Oprah! Ha Ha