Better

We're leaving our church home of fourteen years for one that has a special needs ministry. It is not the church's fault. They have made it clear that they are happy to start a Buddy Program but we would be the test case. Frankly, we have too much going on to tackle that right now and I was finding that, as there wasn't a place for Bogdan, I was just staying home with him and isolating myself more than I already was. 

I'm feeling a bit nostalgic because of it. 

Honestly, everything changed when Eon was born. That tiny bit of extra chromosome altered the course of our lives. 

I am partly to blame. I jumped into the world of special needs with both feet, attempting to drag my friends with me. I waxed eloquent about how "normal" our lives were with Down syndrome, daring anyone to challenge me. I developed a whole new vocabulary and insisted on people first language. 

I made it all about me. 

I became so defensive, friends were uncomfortable even asking me questions and, eventually, felt unqualified to speak into my life at all. The gap between my reality and theirs widened until there was very little common ground left. I regret that aspect of this journey.

But there has been so much good, as well.

I struggled with my faith that first year. Ideas that had been nebulous speculation before, now became concrete reality. My faith deepened. I deepened as I wrestled and grappled with belief. My paradigm shifted and I released my expectations of perfection for myself and my family.

God was gracious to us. Because of it, I have more grace for others and my circle widened to include those of different faiths, or of no faith. He's teaching me, "Imago Dei"...Image of God. All people, regardless of ability, race, belief, intelligence, bank account, manners....all people are created in His image. If I look closely and love deeply, I can see Him reflected there.

My sense of justice was ignited with the birth of Eon. Discrimination of those with disabilities is not just on my radar; I see it rampant everywhere throughout the world, but no more than against the unborn with known special needs in this country. The current hunt to discover and eliminate these unborn babies smacks of eugenics. We should recoil in horror at what's being done to them instead of hiding behind "choice." 

In other countries, particularly in Eastern Europe, those that make it past the womb are in for a horror of their own. Children abandoned at birth, live in their own filth in cribs they will never leave. One percent of orphans will escape through adoption. One percent of 147 million. 

Our Bo was one of the one percent. Now that we have him and know him and love him, I am awestruck at how simple it was to meld him into our family. Don't get me wrong, just like parenting in general, adoption was ten times harder than I expected, but it was one hundred times more wonderful, too. Without Eon, we wouldn't have Bo.

Eon, himself, is hilarious. We laugh so much because of his antics! He is full of personality and engages life more fully than anyone I've ever seen. He is confident and friendly, sneaky and brazen. He makes me smile.

Life before Eon was good. While I didn't know it at the time, it was easy and comfortable. But life with Eon is amazing! It is challenging and fulfilling, crazy and deep, and decidedly not comfortable or easy.

But it is better!