Tuesday, September 24, 2013

Tough Questions

I knew it was coming as soon as the words left my mouth. I opened a door and there was no closing it now. Six-year-old Zak asked me how come Bo's fingers are stuck together and I explained that they never separated when he was in his mommy's tummy. 


I saw the wheels start churning instantly, but it wasn't until we were alone in the car several hours later that he started asking questions. 

"Did Bogdan have a mom in Serbia?" 

And so I explained about birth moms and dads. 

"Wait. Why didn't they just keep him?"

I explained that they decided to leave him at the hospital when they found he had Down syndrome. 

"So they decided to be mean and leave him there just because he has Down syndrome?" asked my incredulous boy.

"No, baby. We have no idea what those people were told or believed or thought was the best thing for Bo. In Serbia, for a long time, people, including doctors, believed that kids with Down syndrome couldn't learn and would never walk or talk or play or do any of the things we know they can do. We don't know how hard it was for them to do what they did. I'm sure it was a very sad time for them, though." 

"Do you think they know we have him, now?"

"I do, actually. I know his birth mom signed the papers allowing for him to be adopted after she watched an American family adopt another child from his foster family. I think the social workers probably told her about us." 

And just like that, he was satisfied. 

"Can I get a gumball from the store?" 


Grace abounds.  

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