Thursday, February 25, 2010

The Locals

So, I went to the local Ds group a few weeks ago. I just took Ellie, 10, and Eon while dad stayed home with the rest...didn't want to overwhelm anyone. It was good. I'm not sure what I was expecting, but I didn't get it.

I think I was hopeful for this instant connection with the parents there. I've been spoiled by my blogging friends and online support group. I feel an instant connection with someone I've only communicated with through words on a page, but real life seldom measures up, I suppose. When I mentioned online support, I got blank looks. There also didn't seem to be a great deal of awareness about current hot topics...the r-word, the "cure", etc.

Honestly, I was disappointed.

The good news is that I went to the Mom's Night Out this week and loved it! It is more city-wide than the local group which is specifically for my side of town. Eon was the youngest represented, but it didn't matter. We were there just to have a good time. At the Mom's Night, I met a gal who has a son who's a year older than Eon and she lives pretty close to me, so that was good. I'm looking forward to getting to know her family better.

One of my beefs with the local group was that I felt instantly judged by the teachers that were present (there were a lot of them, it seemed) for our choice to homeschool our children. You know how it is when you are asked polite questions with a bite: "Where do you get your curriculum?" "Aren't you worried about socialization?" "You won't do it in high school will you?"
Sigh. This is our eigth year of homeschooling. These questions are not new to me. The truth is our kids are doing great, it works for us, and I don't really think it's anybody's business. It's not like I advertise it. On of the teacher-moms asked Ellie where she goes to school and it went south from there.

I was expecting to be admitted to the club on the basis of the extra chromsome that has blessed our family, only to feel excluded for another reason. When am I going to learn? We're a freak show, I tell ya.

Somehow, I doubt attending the next meeting with our six children in tow will help matters any, but we'll give it a whirl. :)


  1. I wish you lived in Utah. We just had a little get together yesterday. And you would've fit right in and left with lots of new friends. My bff home schools and I have to be careful to not put my choice to not home school on her. She has a big family just like you and I know it gets hard on her but it's worth it if it's something that is important to you!

  2. How disappointing. I know what you mean about looking for that connection, but sometimes the number of chromosomes our kids have is just not enough in common! Maybe persevere for a bit and see if they'll come around. I'm sure they will. I'm a teacher and wouldn't dream of homeschooling my kids (and I only have 3!)- seems like hard work and I would be picking battles with my eldest all day. Homework with him is enough! You must be a saint :)

  3. i know how you feel. we had a great group back in Pa. Love them and they are like family. when we got to Texas, I have never felt welcomed when we have gone to meetings. I have met some nice families out side of the group that do and do not belong to the group though. the group here is more like a click. When I pulled Noah out of school two years ago and asked for help, they all thought I was nuts and shouldn't pull him out. It was crazy. Maybe you will find another group or make some ds friends out side of the group?

  4. "We're a freak show, I tell ya!" HAHA that gave me a good laugh! I know what you mean about the instant connection with so many friends online, sorry to hear those connections didn't happen so much in real life, that is frustrating!

  5. Bummer on the local group. But you still have

    I haven't really had any desire to meet anyone other than my on-line friends IRL. I get more support from all my internet buddies than I ever could have imagined possible. A couple of us from BBC got together last summer though and it was really nice. I think the connection was already there.

    As far as the homeschooling goes...I'm a "retired" teacher who thinks that homeschooling rocks (as long as it's done the right way). However, even as a former teacher, I still get the same comments when I tell people that we want to homeschool Lily. I would like to think that I'm least the state of Illinois thinks

  6. Tracy TracyGeee@aol.comFebruary 26, 2010 at 3:47 PM

    After reading your post about feeling excluded, or rather BEING MADE TO FEEL EXCLUDED, I can hear my Dad's voice saying, "By all means, bring all six kids next time, but first give them a Pepsi and two chocolate bars each!" That's his passive-aggressive answer for anything that ails him!

  7. We will start our own "mid-way to local" group! We can have a traveling circus between your 6 and my 5!!! LOL

  8. Sorry to hear that things didn't go so well with "the locals". Making connections is so important. That's what we are all here for, sharing and judgements here:) What you do with your children is inspiring:)

  9. Hi Tara, just found your blog and love it. I too have felt a little out of water at our local DS group, but seeing all the adorable little faces, different sizes and colors, with DS makes it worth it! You had posted on my blog a while ago about my little Mattie (I am Mama of 9) and I'm finally responding to your question :o) He is 15 months old now and such a blessing. He is starting to crawl and babble and still oh so cuddly. We go to the Cardiologist tomorrow to find out if he will indeed have to have his PDA closed. Pray for us. Your blog is a blessing!

  10. Sorry to hear this group didn't work out for you. I've wanted to go to a "local" (to my mom, since nothing is local to me) group, but have been hesitant since I thought it might be wierd. Even if the local group doesn't work out, at least we have online support!