Well, after some soul searching after my last post, I think I might've figured out where my frustration really lies. I am constantly frustrated by my complete inability to accomplish anything. After spending a day looking at my time management, I realized that I spend SIX HOURS of everyday pumping for and feeding Eon! That does not include baths, diaper changes, therapy, consoling fussiness, etc.
No wonder I can't get anything done! Throw in the usual refereeing, soothing ouchies, detangling hair, buttoning buttons, tying ties, etc. that go with lots of littles, and it's a wonder they are even fed. What a relief to have a cause.
Now I just have to figure out what to do. I have nursed five babies for at least a year each. Since Simeon needs his milk thickened, I have been exclusively pumping for him for over four months. I really do believe breast is best and I wanted him to have the best start possible, but, at some point, you have to look to the needs of the whole family. His next swallow study is scheduled for next Monday. He'll be five months old on that date. If they don't clear him for thin liquids, I will begin to decrease pumping and introduce formula.
If they do clear him, I'll try to teach him to nurse. Is it even possible to teach a 5 mo.-old to breastfeed? Hopefully, we'll find out. I'm not hanging my hat on it. Any suggestions are welcome! Either way, pumping will soon be a thing of the past and I am looking forward to it. Maybe I'll actually get to complete a task once in awhile. :)
Oh, how I despise pumping! I was hoping I wouldn't have to but right now it seems that Bennett does best with a bottle and I nurse him every now and then but always follow up with pumping and then giving him a bottle-very time consuming!! But you've got 5 others to care for so I can really see your frustration- I think you've done great with pumping for 5 months and it's worth a shot to try to nurse him and just see.
ReplyDeleteTara, I feel ya, babe. I exclusively pumped for 321 days for BOTH of my boys and would have kept on going if I had not encountered a horrible ductal bleed (gnarly TMI, sorry). It is rough and I nursed Jared for 34 months so switching to formula nearly killed me. I cried and cried and cried some more at that time. I imagine you can teach a 5 month old to breastfeed. I would get an SNS and try a day in bed with Eon, skin to skin and see if he latches on. I will be praying and rooting for you (no pun intended)!
ReplyDeleteHey Tara -
ReplyDeleteSaw your post on the boards...sorry to hear the swallow study did not go well.
I am impressed by anyone who can pump at all -- I hated it!
And, I know it is time consuming - especially with 5 other kids!
Do you have to give up pumping completely? Maybe just do morning and night - that way Eon is still getting some breastmilk? - food for thought - though I am sure you have already weighed all options.
Either way -- praying that you come to peace with whatever decision you make - and that you are able to restore your sanity :)
My 5 month old baby with Ds is exclusively fed pumped breast milk from the bottle. He never quite took to the breast and with two hospitalizations (15 days each) did not have much of a chance. I hate pumping and often dream of quitting. It makes me feel like such a dairy cow. It's especially difficult now that I am back at work. The good thing is that I pump twice what he eats right now so I am starting to build up quite a supply in the freezer we purchased for storing breast milk. My goal is to keep going until he has enough to last through his first year. Should be towards the end of August. I keep going only because I know it is what is best for him. Good Luck... and I love your blog.
ReplyDeleteCori