Blech!

I have been MIA in blog land for the last week as we were attacked by a tummy bug. Attacked as in every. single. one. of. us. It started exactly a week ago with the 2yo and has run through the entire family. The worst part is that it lasted for days for each person, with the exception of Ben. We joke that Ben has a compulsion for hand sanitizer but, as he is the only one who was down for a mere 24 hours, I think maybe he's onto something there. :)

Eon, though started vomiting Thursday night, seemed to get better by Sunday, was given formula and started vomiting again. The nurse at the ped's office had told me it was safe to reintroduce formula after 24hrs from the last episode, as long as he was keeping down other liquids and food...which he was. Yesterday, he slept most of the day, just waking up to whine and drink pedialyte. :( I finally gave him Tylenol and some stage 2 pears in the evening and he was much happier.

After sleeping fourteen hours last night, he was his old self this morning! I was so excited. He seemed hungry and, since it had been 36 hours since his last vomiting episode, I gave him formula. DOH! An hour and a half later, he started with projectile vomiting AGAIN! Ugh. So we're back to applesauce-thickened Pedialyte today. We were on our way to the Dollar Tree, so I'm glad we didn't make it out the door! Can you imagine me at the store with six kids, one of them projectile vomiting in the aisle? Ack!

My biggest concern is that he might be aspirating when he vomits. :( He's sounding very gurgly afterward and Shawn thinks his breathing looks a tad labored this afternoon. We're watching him closely.

I have not yet found a good way to catch projectile vomit from a 13 month-old, except with whatever clothing I happen to be wearing. :) Sunday, I knew it was coming so I held a bowl up to him. It missed the bowl completely and shot all over me! Hilarious! (I even found it funny at the time!) I've done more laundry in the last week than I have in the last six months. Shawn says the last time we had clean sheets every day.....we had to tip the maid.

The Nursery

Eon is not a fan of the church nursery. He has some seperation anxiety and spending the morning with a bunch of strange adults, and even stranger kids, is just not his cup of apple juice. Maybe the problem is that we had a run on girls in our church around the time Eon was born and he is the only boy that's nursery age. Today our friend, Doug, was working in the nursery, so I thought we'd give it a whirl. My other two boys generally hated the nursery, too, but they loved Doug.

Actually, he did last a record amount of time (for him) in there this morning. Apparently, I forgot to mention to Doug's wife, Teresa, that Eon is now crawling and pulling up to stand. Eon, being intimidated by all those girls, I'm sure, just sat and played with toys for almost an hour without moving. Toward the end of the hour, he started to fuss a bit and Teresa was concerned that his back was getting tired. Thinking he couldn't reposition himself, she laid him down. He promptly flipped over and sat up. Hmmmm. Then Doug did the unthinkable. He put Eon in the exersaucer. I heard the reaction to that from my seat downstairs in the sanctuary.

After I went and rescued him, I decided that Eon must've been listening to his PT all those times when she disapproved of exersaucers for kids like him. :)

Simple

I'm a simple girl. I have a simple belief system, a simple lifestyle, and a simple worldview. That's not to say that I'm simplistic, mind you, just uncomplicated.


I believe, for example, that those who are unwilling to accept challenges with a child, should not have unprotected sex. I don't understand saying, out of one side of your mouth, that people with Down syndrome are "more alike than different" and that your life with your child is "normal", and, out of the other side, that you will pursue IVF with embryo screening to make sure you don't get another one with Ds. It's ludicrous to me. It doesn't add up.

But, again, I'm a simple girl. Never could figure out the new math.

Wordless Wednesday ("borrowed" from a friend:)

In Defense of Homeschooling

Because of my last post, I feel the need to spend a few minutes defending homeschooling...only because I won't actually say any of this to the naysayers in real life.

Here are some of my answers to the questions that we get: "Aren't you worried about socialization?" The definition of socialization is: a continuing process whereby an individual acquires a personal identity and learns the norms, values, behavior, and social skills appropriate to his or her social position. Hmmm. I don't know about you, but I think I'd rather my 6yo learn norms, values, and behavior from me, instead of a roomful of other 6yos.

I think what they mean to say is "What about socializing?" The definition of socialize is: to associate or mingle sociably with others. I remember from my school days getting reprimanded for this very thing, but maybe school is different now and your supposed to talk in class? Anyway, my kids get plenty of opportunities for social interaction, and they are very good at it.

This actually brings up one of my favorite benefits of homeschooling. Kids are not relegated to interacting with same-age peers all day. They excel at relating to individuals of all ages and enjoy the company of adults, as well as children. My kids and their friends are not hung up on ages and grade levels of their friends. The older girls have a group of friends that range in age from 10-14 years. They are close with one another and the 10yo (my Ellie) and the 14yo are just as close as any other members of the group.

Speaking of Ellie, she tests at or just below grade level. Someone outside looking in might decide that she is the poster child for anti-homeschooling. However, we are, in fact, very proud of her success. Ellie has ADHD, dyslexia, dysgraphia, and probably a few learning issues that haven't been diagnosed. Because we homeschool, we have been able to teach her in an individualized way that capitalizes on her strengths while working to overcome her weaknesses. I am convinced that she would be much farther behind in a traditional school setting, and would most likely have very little self esteem. Instead, she is a very confident girl who loves to learn. It has been a struggle to get here, especially on the heels of her gifted older sister, but we've worked at finding just what works with her and are proud of her success.

A huge benefit to homeschooling is flexibility. We can schedule school around any event, even as simple as a sunny, 50-degree day (after months of teens and twenties) that just begged for us to venture out for a walk to the park today. Because we don't have crowd control issues and I only have a few students, we are able to accomplish the bulk of schooling in about 3-4 hours. That leaves a good deal of the day for chores and play. Last year at this time, Michaela was able to fly to the Everglades and spend three weeks with her grandparents learning about the ecosystem. Her grandfather, my dad, was a park ranger there. It was a wonderful adventure for her as she loves nature above just about everything.

Another pro is that I get to be with my kids all the time. That's also a con, too, depending on the day. :)

I'm often asked if I intend to homeschool Eon. I don't have an answer for that. It's so hard to imagine my baby as school age and, frankly, I'm just enjoying my time with him. We'll cross that bridge when we come to it, but my inclination is to say probably not...at least not initially.

We take it year by year, but I do intend to continue homeschooling through high school. We live in an area with a huge homeschooling population with tons of alternatives, sports, band, art classes, choir, etc. I'm intrigued by our university's online high school courses for college credit option, too.

We took this year off from our homeschool support group because of therapy conflicts. We are so excited about going back next year. I feel like we "went to ground" getting our bearings after Eon was born. It's nice to feel like we can begin to add in all the extras that help round our childrens' educational experience.

The Locals

So, I went to the local Ds group a few weeks ago. I just took Ellie, 10, and Eon while dad stayed home with the rest...didn't want to overwhelm anyone. It was good. I'm not sure what I was expecting, but I didn't get it.

I think I was hopeful for this instant connection with the parents there. I've been spoiled by my blogging friends and online support group. I feel an instant connection with someone I've only communicated with through words on a page, but real life seldom measures up, I suppose. When I mentioned online support, I got blank looks. There also didn't seem to be a great deal of awareness about current hot topics...the r-word, the "cure", etc.

Honestly, I was disappointed.

The good news is that I went to the Mom's Night Out this week and loved it! It is more city-wide than the local group which is specifically for my side of town. Eon was the youngest represented, but it didn't matter. We were there just to have a good time. At the Mom's Night, I met a gal who has a son who's a year older than Eon and she lives pretty close to me, so that was good. I'm looking forward to getting to know her family better.

One of my beefs with the local group was that I felt instantly judged by the teachers that were present (there were a lot of them, it seemed) for our choice to homeschool our children. You know how it is when you are asked polite questions with a bite: "Where do you get your curriculum?" "Aren't you worried about socialization?" "You won't do it in high school will you?"
Sigh. This is our eigth year of homeschooling. These questions are not new to me. The truth is our kids are doing great, it works for us, and I don't really think it's anybody's business. It's not like I advertise it. On of the teacher-moms asked Ellie where she goes to school and it went south from there.

I was expecting to be admitted to the club on the basis of the extra chromsome that has blessed our family, only to feel excluded for another reason. When am I going to learn? We're a freak show, I tell ya.

Somehow, I doubt attending the next meeting with our six children in tow will help matters any, but we'll give it a whirl. :)

Why are we afraid of Down syndrome?

I posted this on the amnio board on Babycenter.com today.

Of all the things that can go wrong with a child - cerebral palsy, cancer, emotional issues, teenage rebellion (drug use), etc. - why is it that Down syndrome seems to strike the most fear in our hearts?

I'm not being judgmental...I was right there, too. When Eon was born (odds were 1:20, declined amnio) and we were told within minutes of his birth that he had Ds, I was terrified! It felt like the air had been sucked from the room. The fear abated when I finally held him and looked into his sweet face, but I won't deny that it was my first response.

I think back to that, now that I know my fears were completely unfounded, and wonder if I would've been as afraid if it had been something else. I like to think that I would've been, but I don't know.

I don't think we're really afraid of actual Down syndrome, but rather the image of Ds that we have in our heads...the adult with Ds in our childhood neighborhood with the institutional hair cut and the garbled speech...or the kid with Down syndrome at our school coming out of his special ed class at lunch who always tried to hug us...or our great Aunt Sue's memory of her little "mongoloid" brother who was a burden on the family until he died at 25.

The reality is that Down syndrome doesn't look like that anymore. Early intervention and medical advances have changed the face of Down syndrome.

First, people with Down syndrome don't suffer. This is a group that embraces life and expects us to do the same. In the words of American Idol contestant Maddy Curtis (who has 4 brothers with Ds), "They see the world in color and we just see it in black and white."

Second, they are not a burden. Babies who are born with Ds today are expected to live independently as adults with only minor support. We are seeing young adults work meaningful jobs, attend college, and even marry.

Third, they are more alike than different. Kids with Ds will learn to do all the things typical kids do...walk, talk, read, attend school, fight with siblings, etc...it just may take them longer. They can be fully involved in sports, music, dance, karate, etc.

There are some health issues associated with T21. Most are minor and easily corrected and not every kid will have them. It's absolutely possible to have a perfectly healthy baby who also has Down syndrome. Heart issues are scary, but often don't need surgery and if they do, the surgery is considered routine and has a high success rate.

If we have other kids, we're often worried over how Ds will affect them. I know I did. Good news! Siblings of those with Ds have been shown to have higher levels of empathy, compassion, and tolerance than siblings of typical kids. Aren't those qualities we want our kids to have? Studies have also shown that parents of kids with Ds are actually more likely to stay married than those without.

It's not a cake walk. Parenting seldom is. All kids have challenges. With six kids, I know this better than anyone. With Ds, at least we get advance notice of what some of them may be.