Shortly after Eon's birth, I discovered a message board on babycenter.com for moms who have kids with Ds. It has been such a blessing! We discuss concerns, support each other, and brag on our special kids. Because I surf the net while pumping, I spend a lot of time on the computer. I've discovered that there are message boards or "communities" for just about anything you can think of. There's even one for those of us that exclusively pump. :)
Last night, I discovered one for those who have chosen or are choosing to terminate their pregnancies because of medical issues with the baby. Oh my. I wish I hadn't read the messages. Most of them aborted their babies because of a Down syndrome diagnosis. I feel sick. One woman posted because she is overcome with guilt and recently had a miscarriage. She was wondering if karma had something to do with her recent loss. All of the other women were quick to assure her that she did nothing wrong. In fact, according to them, she took the high road and was completely selfless in taking the life of her baby, so it didn't have to suffer. I have been devestated since discovering that the termination rate for prenatal diagnosis of Ds is 90%, and yet, even that did not prepare me for encountering these women. The lies they believe are many.
I couldn't help myself. I sent a private message to one who has an abortion scheduled for next Wednesday. Her baby, too, has Down syndrome. I told her how wonderful these kids are and how much they can accomplish. I told her I understood her fear, that I'd experienced it, too, but that it will disappear. I asked her to give her baby a chance. I've not heard back and I don't expect to.
As I was writing the truth about Ds, that these kids can accomplish so much, I was struck with the realization that therein lies the problem. We only value people for what they can do. I was trying to convince someone that her baby deserved to live because his defecits will not be that bad. If he were diagnosed with something that limited function more, I wouldn't have had a leg to stand on. How do you communicate to someone that they should value life because it's life? How have we gotten to this point that we have to?